How to Pick a Funeral Home
By now you have decided what services you want and what services you don’t want. Now, it’s time to select the funeral home you are going to use. Without a doubt, one of the most important decisions you will make about your final disposition is the funeral home you will use, and to set the record straight, all funeral homes provide basically the same service. Of course they will vary a little in the location, modernization, and look of the building, but for the most part, all mortuaries perform the service of taking care of deceased persons.
If They All Do the Same Thing, What Do I Care Which Funeral Home I Choose?
You care because although all funeral homes take care of the dead, not all funeral homes charge the same
fees and prices. When somebody passes away, the first thing the family does is go to the phone book or Internet and look up the closest mortician. If you don’t use this method, then you will most likely use the same funeral home that took care of your “Uncle Fred” and “Aunt Jayne.”
What most people don’t realize is that there’s a good chance that the mortuary two blocks down the road provides the exact same service you are getting with your current mortician but for $2,000 less. For example, in San Bernardino, California there is a mortuary whose base fee is $1,995. Which means, even if they do nothing
else with the body other than pick it up and take it to the mortuary, you are going to pay a minimum of $1,995.
While 15 miles up the road there is another mortuary that only charges $650 for the same base services. These are the same services but with a $1,345 difference.
So how do you know what mortuaries charge for their services? You can know by obtaining a document from the mortuary’s office called the General Price List (GPL). A law that passed several years ago states that mortuaries
and cemeteries must provide an itemized price list when one is requested in person—not to do so is unlawful!
To obtain the price list all you have to do is ask. When requested, deathcare industry professionals are obliged to provide you with an itemized document. They hand out multiple copies a week, so you should NOT feel bad or cheap for asking for it. You can also request prices over the phone. If you feel uncomfortable with stopping by or calling the mortuary, you may request that a copy of the GPL be mailed to you; although, they don’t technically
have to provide this service. Most mortuaries will fax or email the GPL over to you if you ask.
Making Heads and Tails of the General Price List (GPL)
A GPL it is chock-full of information. The document itself is usually at least 5 pages long and has all sorts of information that the average person doesn’t understand. Not knowing how to read a GPL will put you at an enormous disadvantage when shopping for your funeral needs. For that reason, I am going to help you acquire
a working knowledge of this important document now.
The first thing you need to know about the GPL is that not all items are equally important. By now, you have probably decided whether you are going to do a cremation or traditional burial. This decision will better help you decipher the GPL.
Package Deals
The first things you will notice as you look at the list are the package deals. Many people assume that ‘Package Deals’ are automatically the best bang for your buck. This is not always true. Mortuaries may add into the packages a bunch of unnecessary items you don’t even want. They do this to make it look like you are getting a large amount of items and services for a lower price if you were to buy them all separately.
These small add-in items are usually unnecessary and overpriced. For example, there is a company that always adds in prayer cards, thank-you cards, and a commemorative DVD. Here is the catch: they charge you $150 for each item. If you have done any shopping in the last 20 years, you probably know that you can purchase thank-you cards at the local retail store for about $20.
On the other hand, not all packages are bad deals. There are times when the package deals are exactly what you want and the best value. In order to find out if a package deal is the best for you, you’ll have to do some more homework.
Following the package-deal section of the GPL, you will find the itemization of all available items and services. As you read these items you may find yourself a little confused about what exactly they all entail. So, here is a list of
the common fees and their definitions that you may see on the GPL. If you see a fee on a GPL that you don’t understand, always ask the mortuary for further clarification.
Basic Service Fee
The mortuary charges a basic service fee for helping you in any way. They charge it to cover the costs of operations such as maintaining the building, utilities, and personnel. By charging this fee, the mortuary is profiting from the start. The fee is usually (but not always) the indicator of affordability. If the fee is outrageous, then most likely everything else will be outrageously priced too.
Embalming
Embalming is the process of switching out the blood from the human body with a chemical used to delay the natural decomposition process. Typically embalming is necessary if you are going to have a viewing. If you
want to save money on the embalming, all you have to do is elect a closed casket funeral service and you are set.
Cremation Charge/Cremation Fee
This is the fee that the funeral home charges to do the actual cremation. When looking at a GPL I offer this point of caution: watch out for funeral home charging both a cremation charge AND a cremation fee. A cremation
charge and a cremation fee are the same thing so if you see BOTH on your itemized bill make sure they take
off one or the other so you are not being double billed.
Dressing and Casketing
Everybody wants to look good in the casket, so
whether you want to be buried in a suit or blue jeans
somebody has to put you in them. Dressing and casketing
is usually done by the mortuary staff and is only necessary
if you are having a viewing. However, there are
several religions that prefer to have qualified members
and clergy to dress their dead and you may request to do
this, if you choose.
Disinfection of the Body
When a body comes into the mortuary it is standard
practice to disinfect it for sanitary reasons. Typically
this cannot be avoided.
62 The Debt-Free Funeral
Care of Autopsied Remains
In the event of an undetermined death, the county
coroner may decide to perform an autopsy to find out
why somebody died. Care of autopsied remains takes
time and therefore cost money. Unfortunately, if there has
been an autopsy, extra fees will apply.
Cosmetics/Hair Care
Cosmetics include everything from a woman’s everyday
makeup job to extensive cosmetic cover-up. Morticians
do this to help people look as ‘natural’ as possible
during a viewing. This can get expensive if there is extensive
cosmetic damage to the deceased. This fee can be
eliminated if there is no viewing or if the family decides
to do the makeup themselves.
$$$ $avings Tip #30
By selecting a memorial service or
closed casket, you can avoid the
following services:
• Cosmetics
• Hairdressing
• Embalming
• Clothing applications
Transportation to the Cemetery
This fee is charged for transportation from the
funeral location to the cemetery. The funeral home will
always have options for transporting the family. They
usually have limousines and chauffeurs available at a
hefty fee. There are two alternatives to this option:
How to Pick a Funeral Home 63
• Rent a car from the local rent a car service and
have a friend chauffer the vehicle, or
• Ask the relative with the nicest car to drive the
closest family members.
As a note of caution, if you were very close to the
deceased, don’t plan on driving the day of the funeral.
Emotions will be very strong, and the last thing you are
going to want to do is drive. Be safe and have a chauffeur.
$$$ $avings Tip #31
Avoid renting expensive limousines
and chauffeurs.
Rent a car or have a family member who owns a
nice car take care of the transportation of the immediate
family members.
Police Escorts
Traditionally when there is a large funeral, the
family will have the option to of a police escort. This
serves as an honor to the deceased as well as a convenience
to the attendees. Police escorts make it easier to
travel, but they are not necessary.
Normally the mortuary will call the police station
to set up a police escort. You will certainly be charged
for the escort, but the mortuary may also charge for the
trouble of arranging it as well.
$$$ $avings Tip #32
Arrange/omit the police escort.
You may choose to arrange with the police station
the police escort, or you may decide to simply omit it
all together.
64 The Debt-Free Funeral
After Hours, Weekends, and Holiday Fees
If the mortuary has to pick up a deceased person
after hours, holidays, or on weekends they will always
charge an additional fee for the inconvenience. Think of
it as the emergency plumber that comes to your home
during the late night hours to unclog a sink drain. They
are more than happy to do it, but only at a premium price.
$$$ $avings Tip #33
Wait for normal business hours (9
a.m.–5 p.m.) to schedule the pickup
of a loved one.
Funeral Coach and Driver
Funeral coach is a fancy way of saying hearse. A
hearse is the car used to transport the body. Unfortunately
there is not much you can do to save money on the transportation
of the casket. Unless you are going to put the
casket in the back of your pickup truck or van, you will
need a hearse to transport the casket.
Flower/Utility Van and Driver
This vehicle is used to transport all the flowers and
equipment for the funeral home and family.
Additional Mileage Fee
All funeral homes have limits on the distance they
are willing to travel without charging you extra fees. If you
exceed those distances, you will have to pay more. For example,
XYZ Mortuary charges $395 for the transfer of remains
from place of death to the mortuary within a 30-mile
How to Pick a Funeral Home 65
radius. If you exceed that distance, you will be charged an
additional $3.00 per mile outside the 30 mile radius.
$$$ $avings Tip #34
All things equal, select the funeral
home that falls inside the maximum
transportation radius.
Miscellaneous Filing Fees
When someone passes away, there will always be
miscellaneous license, estate, and certificate fees that can
add up in a hurry. These filing fees cannot be avoided.
Life Insurance Processing Fee
Do you have life insurance that you plan on using
to pay for the final expenses? If you do, then read this
section carefully because it will save you $300–$1,000.
If a mortician has to wait for the money from a life
insurance policy, expect the mortuary to charge a life
insurance processing fee.
Mortuaries say they have to charge this fee because
“they are not a bank,” and they don’t lend money. This
is a bunch of bull! What they are trying to tell you is that
the thousands of dollars you are going to pay for the funeral
isn’t enough and that they need even more money.
Not if I can help it!
66 The Debt-Free Funeral
$$$ $avings Tip #35
Put the full cost of the funeral on
a credit card and avoid the life insurance
processing fee.
Make sure you have one or two credit cards so
you can charge all the mortuary services. Your life
insurance will take a couple of weeks to pay out, and
when it does, all you have to do is use it to pay off the
charges on the credit card. By doing it this way, you
avoid the ridiculous life insurance processing fee, your
loved one gets taken care of, and the credit card is paid
off within your billing cycle so you don’t accrue any
interest charges.
Transfer and Shipping Fees
If somebody passes overseas or in another state
and the family wants the remains transferred to a different
state or country, several fees will appear. You will be
charged a forwarding fee by the mortuary that is sending
the remains and by the mortuary receiving the remains.
This alone can cost thousands. You will have fees for
shipping bodies via airplane and cremains via mail.
$$$ $avings Tip #36
Make sure you only use one mortuary
to plan the funeral/cremation.
Having remains transferred between two separate
mortuaries can increase your cost $3,000 or more.
How to Pick a Funeral Home 67
Storage of remains
There could be a million reasons a body
would need to be stored for several days before a funeral
takes place. Sometimes the family needs time to make
arrangements for distant family and friends to arrive, or
maybe they are trying to contact local funeral homes to
see which one best fits their needs. In any case, if a person
passes away in a hospital, leave them there while you
make arrangements instead of having the mortuary store
the remains. Typically, the hospital storage fees will be
significantly less than those of the mortuary.
$$$ $avings Tip #37
If a loved passes away in a hospital,
leave them there. Hospital
storage fees are typically less
than those of a mortuary.
Pacemaker Removal
If the deceased has a pacemaker, the mortuary will
require it to be removed. This is particularly true if somebody
decides that they want a cremation.
Flowers
Obviously you don’t need me to explain what
flowers are, but I include them because I want you to
know another awesome savings tip. For whatever reason,
anytime you say “funeral” when buying flowers, the floral
people want to charge triple the normal asking price.
This doesn’t have to happen.
68 The Debt-Free Funeral
$$$ $avings Tip #38
Buy your flowers from large retailers,
like Sam’s Club or Costco.
Sam’s Club or Costco do wonderful, large arrangements
for a fraction of the cost. The only problem
is that they often need a couple of days to put them
together. If you can’t wait, then buy any pre arranged
floral you want. People don’t have to know they aren’t
“funeral arrangement” flowers and you will save hundreds
of dollars.
$$$ $avings Tip #39
Let the congregation help with
flowers.
No budget for flowers? Fine, just ask everybody
who comes to the funeral to bring the deceased’s favorite
flower. All you have to do is bring vases to put them
in. People will love the opportunity to contribute and be
honored to help the family.
Funeral Home Worksheet
Now that you know the definitions of the items
on the GPL, it is time to compare mortuaries and prices.
This worksheet is designed to help you select the funeral
home that best fits you and your budget.
To use it, simply take the information from the
worksheets in previous sections and input the dollar
amounts for the services you want. Then add them up
on the total line. Do this with all the funeral homes in
your area. This total should give you an accurate dollar
amount of what each particular mortuary will charge for
the services you want.
Other deciding factors
There are other important factors that come into play
when selecting a funeral home. Here is a list of considerations:
• Is the funeral home close to your home?
• Is the funeral home located in a traditional
neighborhood you feel uncomfortable in?
• Is there sufficient parking?
• Is the staff friendly and willing to help?
• Is the overall appearance of the funeral home
clean and updated?
Just because a funeral home is the cheapest,
doesn’t always mean you want to use them. Always make
a visit to the home before you make a solid decision. This
can be difficult if you are pressed for time, but it will be
worth it in the long run.
As a rule of thumb, if you feel uncomfortable when
you walk into the funeral home, you shouldn’t do business
with them. There are plenty of other businesses that will
take care of you without making you feel uncomfortable.
If They All Do the Same Thing, What Do I Care Which Funeral Home I Choose?
You care because although all funeral homes take care of the dead, not all funeral homes charge the same
fees and prices. When somebody passes away, the first thing the family does is go to the phone book or Internet and look up the closest mortician. If you don’t use this method, then you will most likely use the same funeral home that took care of your “Uncle Fred” and “Aunt Jayne.”
What most people don’t realize is that there’s a good chance that the mortuary two blocks down the road provides the exact same service you are getting with your current mortician but for $2,000 less. For example, in San Bernardino, California there is a mortuary whose base fee is $1,995. Which means, even if they do nothing
else with the body other than pick it up and take it to the mortuary, you are going to pay a minimum of $1,995.
While 15 miles up the road there is another mortuary that only charges $650 for the same base services. These are the same services but with a $1,345 difference.
So how do you know what mortuaries charge for their services? You can know by obtaining a document from the mortuary’s office called the General Price List (GPL). A law that passed several years ago states that mortuaries
and cemeteries must provide an itemized price list when one is requested in person—not to do so is unlawful!
To obtain the price list all you have to do is ask. When requested, deathcare industry professionals are obliged to provide you with an itemized document. They hand out multiple copies a week, so you should NOT feel bad or cheap for asking for it. You can also request prices over the phone. If you feel uncomfortable with stopping by or calling the mortuary, you may request that a copy of the GPL be mailed to you; although, they don’t technically
have to provide this service. Most mortuaries will fax or email the GPL over to you if you ask.
Making Heads and Tails of the General Price List (GPL)
A GPL it is chock-full of information. The document itself is usually at least 5 pages long and has all sorts of information that the average person doesn’t understand. Not knowing how to read a GPL will put you at an enormous disadvantage when shopping for your funeral needs. For that reason, I am going to help you acquire
a working knowledge of this important document now.
The first thing you need to know about the GPL is that not all items are equally important. By now, you have probably decided whether you are going to do a cremation or traditional burial. This decision will better help you decipher the GPL.
Package Deals
The first things you will notice as you look at the list are the package deals. Many people assume that ‘Package Deals’ are automatically the best bang for your buck. This is not always true. Mortuaries may add into the packages a bunch of unnecessary items you don’t even want. They do this to make it look like you are getting a large amount of items and services for a lower price if you were to buy them all separately.
These small add-in items are usually unnecessary and overpriced. For example, there is a company that always adds in prayer cards, thank-you cards, and a commemorative DVD. Here is the catch: they charge you $150 for each item. If you have done any shopping in the last 20 years, you probably know that you can purchase thank-you cards at the local retail store for about $20.
On the other hand, not all packages are bad deals. There are times when the package deals are exactly what you want and the best value. In order to find out if a package deal is the best for you, you’ll have to do some more homework.
Following the package-deal section of the GPL, you will find the itemization of all available items and services. As you read these items you may find yourself a little confused about what exactly they all entail. So, here is a list of
the common fees and their definitions that you may see on the GPL. If you see a fee on a GPL that you don’t understand, always ask the mortuary for further clarification.
Basic Service Fee
The mortuary charges a basic service fee for helping you in any way. They charge it to cover the costs of operations such as maintaining the building, utilities, and personnel. By charging this fee, the mortuary is profiting from the start. The fee is usually (but not always) the indicator of affordability. If the fee is outrageous, then most likely everything else will be outrageously priced too.
Embalming
Embalming is the process of switching out the blood from the human body with a chemical used to delay the natural decomposition process. Typically embalming is necessary if you are going to have a viewing. If you
want to save money on the embalming, all you have to do is elect a closed casket funeral service and you are set.
Cremation Charge/Cremation Fee
This is the fee that the funeral home charges to do the actual cremation. When looking at a GPL I offer this point of caution: watch out for funeral home charging both a cremation charge AND a cremation fee. A cremation
charge and a cremation fee are the same thing so if you see BOTH on your itemized bill make sure they take
off one or the other so you are not being double billed.
Dressing and Casketing
Everybody wants to look good in the casket, so
whether you want to be buried in a suit or blue jeans
somebody has to put you in them. Dressing and casketing
is usually done by the mortuary staff and is only necessary
if you are having a viewing. However, there are
several religions that prefer to have qualified members
and clergy to dress their dead and you may request to do
this, if you choose.
Disinfection of the Body
When a body comes into the mortuary it is standard
practice to disinfect it for sanitary reasons. Typically
this cannot be avoided.
62 The Debt-Free Funeral
Care of Autopsied Remains
In the event of an undetermined death, the county
coroner may decide to perform an autopsy to find out
why somebody died. Care of autopsied remains takes
time and therefore cost money. Unfortunately, if there has
been an autopsy, extra fees will apply.
Cosmetics/Hair Care
Cosmetics include everything from a woman’s everyday
makeup job to extensive cosmetic cover-up. Morticians
do this to help people look as ‘natural’ as possible
during a viewing. This can get expensive if there is extensive
cosmetic damage to the deceased. This fee can be
eliminated if there is no viewing or if the family decides
to do the makeup themselves.
$$$ $avings Tip #30
By selecting a memorial service or
closed casket, you can avoid the
following services:
• Cosmetics
• Hairdressing
• Embalming
• Clothing applications
Transportation to the Cemetery
This fee is charged for transportation from the
funeral location to the cemetery. The funeral home will
always have options for transporting the family. They
usually have limousines and chauffeurs available at a
hefty fee. There are two alternatives to this option:
How to Pick a Funeral Home 63
• Rent a car from the local rent a car service and
have a friend chauffer the vehicle, or
• Ask the relative with the nicest car to drive the
closest family members.
As a note of caution, if you were very close to the
deceased, don’t plan on driving the day of the funeral.
Emotions will be very strong, and the last thing you are
going to want to do is drive. Be safe and have a chauffeur.
$$$ $avings Tip #31
Avoid renting expensive limousines
and chauffeurs.
Rent a car or have a family member who owns a
nice car take care of the transportation of the immediate
family members.
Police Escorts
Traditionally when there is a large funeral, the
family will have the option to of a police escort. This
serves as an honor to the deceased as well as a convenience
to the attendees. Police escorts make it easier to
travel, but they are not necessary.
Normally the mortuary will call the police station
to set up a police escort. You will certainly be charged
for the escort, but the mortuary may also charge for the
trouble of arranging it as well.
$$$ $avings Tip #32
Arrange/omit the police escort.
You may choose to arrange with the police station
the police escort, or you may decide to simply omit it
all together.
64 The Debt-Free Funeral
After Hours, Weekends, and Holiday Fees
If the mortuary has to pick up a deceased person
after hours, holidays, or on weekends they will always
charge an additional fee for the inconvenience. Think of
it as the emergency plumber that comes to your home
during the late night hours to unclog a sink drain. They
are more than happy to do it, but only at a premium price.
$$$ $avings Tip #33
Wait for normal business hours (9
a.m.–5 p.m.) to schedule the pickup
of a loved one.
Funeral Coach and Driver
Funeral coach is a fancy way of saying hearse. A
hearse is the car used to transport the body. Unfortunately
there is not much you can do to save money on the transportation
of the casket. Unless you are going to put the
casket in the back of your pickup truck or van, you will
need a hearse to transport the casket.
Flower/Utility Van and Driver
This vehicle is used to transport all the flowers and
equipment for the funeral home and family.
Additional Mileage Fee
All funeral homes have limits on the distance they
are willing to travel without charging you extra fees. If you
exceed those distances, you will have to pay more. For example,
XYZ Mortuary charges $395 for the transfer of remains
from place of death to the mortuary within a 30-mile
How to Pick a Funeral Home 65
radius. If you exceed that distance, you will be charged an
additional $3.00 per mile outside the 30 mile radius.
$$$ $avings Tip #34
All things equal, select the funeral
home that falls inside the maximum
transportation radius.
Miscellaneous Filing Fees
When someone passes away, there will always be
miscellaneous license, estate, and certificate fees that can
add up in a hurry. These filing fees cannot be avoided.
Life Insurance Processing Fee
Do you have life insurance that you plan on using
to pay for the final expenses? If you do, then read this
section carefully because it will save you $300–$1,000.
If a mortician has to wait for the money from a life
insurance policy, expect the mortuary to charge a life
insurance processing fee.
Mortuaries say they have to charge this fee because
“they are not a bank,” and they don’t lend money. This
is a bunch of bull! What they are trying to tell you is that
the thousands of dollars you are going to pay for the funeral
isn’t enough and that they need even more money.
Not if I can help it!
66 The Debt-Free Funeral
$$$ $avings Tip #35
Put the full cost of the funeral on
a credit card and avoid the life insurance
processing fee.
Make sure you have one or two credit cards so
you can charge all the mortuary services. Your life
insurance will take a couple of weeks to pay out, and
when it does, all you have to do is use it to pay off the
charges on the credit card. By doing it this way, you
avoid the ridiculous life insurance processing fee, your
loved one gets taken care of, and the credit card is paid
off within your billing cycle so you don’t accrue any
interest charges.
Transfer and Shipping Fees
If somebody passes overseas or in another state
and the family wants the remains transferred to a different
state or country, several fees will appear. You will be
charged a forwarding fee by the mortuary that is sending
the remains and by the mortuary receiving the remains.
This alone can cost thousands. You will have fees for
shipping bodies via airplane and cremains via mail.
$$$ $avings Tip #36
Make sure you only use one mortuary
to plan the funeral/cremation.
Having remains transferred between two separate
mortuaries can increase your cost $3,000 or more.
How to Pick a Funeral Home 67
Storage of remains
There could be a million reasons a body
would need to be stored for several days before a funeral
takes place. Sometimes the family needs time to make
arrangements for distant family and friends to arrive, or
maybe they are trying to contact local funeral homes to
see which one best fits their needs. In any case, if a person
passes away in a hospital, leave them there while you
make arrangements instead of having the mortuary store
the remains. Typically, the hospital storage fees will be
significantly less than those of the mortuary.
$$$ $avings Tip #37
If a loved passes away in a hospital,
leave them there. Hospital
storage fees are typically less
than those of a mortuary.
Pacemaker Removal
If the deceased has a pacemaker, the mortuary will
require it to be removed. This is particularly true if somebody
decides that they want a cremation.
Flowers
Obviously you don’t need me to explain what
flowers are, but I include them because I want you to
know another awesome savings tip. For whatever reason,
anytime you say “funeral” when buying flowers, the floral
people want to charge triple the normal asking price.
This doesn’t have to happen.
68 The Debt-Free Funeral
$$$ $avings Tip #38
Buy your flowers from large retailers,
like Sam’s Club or Costco.
Sam’s Club or Costco do wonderful, large arrangements
for a fraction of the cost. The only problem
is that they often need a couple of days to put them
together. If you can’t wait, then buy any pre arranged
floral you want. People don’t have to know they aren’t
“funeral arrangement” flowers and you will save hundreds
of dollars.
$$$ $avings Tip #39
Let the congregation help with
flowers.
No budget for flowers? Fine, just ask everybody
who comes to the funeral to bring the deceased’s favorite
flower. All you have to do is bring vases to put them
in. People will love the opportunity to contribute and be
honored to help the family.
Funeral Home Worksheet
Now that you know the definitions of the items
on the GPL, it is time to compare mortuaries and prices.
This worksheet is designed to help you select the funeral
home that best fits you and your budget.
To use it, simply take the information from the
worksheets in previous sections and input the dollar
amounts for the services you want. Then add them up
on the total line. Do this with all the funeral homes in
your area. This total should give you an accurate dollar
amount of what each particular mortuary will charge for
the services you want.
Other deciding factors
There are other important factors that come into play
when selecting a funeral home. Here is a list of considerations:
• Is the funeral home close to your home?
• Is the funeral home located in a traditional
neighborhood you feel uncomfortable in?
• Is there sufficient parking?
• Is the staff friendly and willing to help?
• Is the overall appearance of the funeral home
clean and updated?
Just because a funeral home is the cheapest,
doesn’t always mean you want to use them. Always make
a visit to the home before you make a solid decision. This
can be difficult if you are pressed for time, but it will be
worth it in the long run.
As a rule of thumb, if you feel uncomfortable when
you walk into the funeral home, you shouldn’t do business
with them. There are plenty of other businesses that will
take care of you without making you feel uncomfortable.